Wednesday, June 22, 2011

3 Months

It has taken me a while to write this because of the catch up work I have been trying to get done from my trip but I did want to post about it.

I had a very interesting May. I left home on May 11th and didn't return until later in the evening of June 4th. I went to Kansas to visit my siblings and parents. One of my brothers was graduating from High School. It was cold in Kansas again. I say that because last May it was freezing for the big double college graduation and parents surprise 50th. I was actually happy this time I brought my warmer suede jacket.

From Kansas I headed to Boston for a one night wait until Nathan arrived from California. That weekend was spent in Vermont in celebration of my BIL's (Brother-in-law) wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony but a little buggy.

Then a trip back to Boston until the end of the month. I was home to try to help Nana and to finish the grieving process. I tried to help her in any way that I could. We did some clutter cleaning, went through bills, sorted through some of Papa's stuff and tried to get out or run some errands every day.

Can I just saying taking time to go through the putting someone to rest/grieving process is very hard. Maybe I should be more clear. As a military spouse being far away from home is the pits when you loose a close family member. I had to deal with getting used to the horrible "c" word, deal with the rapid growth and deterioration of a loved one because of the "c" word, and then finally being able to visit their grave; that is the pits. It took me nearly three months to do all of that. Can you believe that?! The worse part is I really don't feel like I 100% came to reality on the "c" word.

I remember the last time I saw my Papa. He didn't look sick. He didn't seem sick to me. I think this is horrible but I question how long he had the "c" word and I/we never knew. It just isn't right. Was the "c" word growing inside him the last time I saw him? Could it have been caught then? Would he have been given a chance with radiation/chemo therapy?

I even did research on alternate forms of treatment for the "c" word. I would have maybe even have liked for him to have that option over radiation/chemo therapy. Here are several links. Note a majority of the links I am posting are on LiveStrong.com.
  1. http://www.livestrong.com/article/268700-vitamin-c-treatment-for-skin-cancer/

  2. http://www.livestrong.com/article/431926-why-is-vitamin-c-important/

  3. http://www.livestrong.com/article/304705-zinc-vs-vitamin-c/

  4. http://www.livestrong.com/article/437166-vitamin-c-hypercholesterolemia/

  5. http://www.orthomolecular.org/resources/omns/v03n12.shtml

  6. http://www.cancertutor.com/Cancer02/VitaminC.html

Okay I realize that some of these links are in reference to Vitamin C for the skin "c" word but I still think that there is something there.

Nathan was able to bring home some of Papa's stuff that would fit him. I brought home some of Papa's notebooks due to family history information and he had some drawings for the silly wood carvings he used to make. I brought home some of the things that I also had sent to him before he passed. They were things I was hoping would help him or that he could enjoy while he was recovering.

I did break down and cry on Nana when I found the notebooks. I was happy to find some family history I know he had been working hard on and to just see it in his writing. It made it a little bit hard.

All in all in was a good trip all the way around. It was a little sad, yes but it was needed.

RIP Papa and Thank You to all those that took care of me while I was traveling!