Monday, March 07, 2011

Papa's Spirit With Me

On Saturday the morning of the 5th, it was a clear and sunny day. Nathan and I had an open house for the NPS Running Club. I spent some time this morning preparing for the breakfast party. I was receiving updates from Aunt Maria & Christina this morning before our guests arrived.

At 8:05 AM I took Angel for an hour long walk while the NPS Running Club went for their run. Halfway through the walk, Angel and I reached the top of the hill and stopped to look out at the welcoming arms of the warm, blue sky. An airplane took off from the airport to our left. We watched as it disappeared behind the mountains. As we looked down in front of us we couldn't see our house but we know that it is in there somewhere.

We started to descend down the hill. We reach the Seaside, Fire Department. As Angel and I walk past, I chuckle. For a moment it reminds me of Papa telling his story of how he taught Mister Ed, the talking horse, how to talk. I was young so I never questioned him. I think I did ask once, if he could set up an appointment for us to meet Mister Ed. But Papa stated that Mister Ed was too busy. I chuckled because for that moment I was having a slight disagreement with him in my head. I think that the postal workers or firemen probably taught Mister Ed how to talk. They rode horses and spent a lot of time with them. I am not sure if Papa ever rode a horse.

As Angel and I continue down the hill we reach the park. I know he would love the view here. You can see Downtown Monterey and Pacific Grove across the ocean.

We make it home and I almost start to cry. All of my conversations with Papa the last year and half have mostly revolved around the house. What Nathan and I are working on and/or what we plan to do next. He always asked me for pictures but I hadn't sent him any because I thought that it would be a better "WOW" factor to show him all the before and after photos together.

Once inside there are bagels, orange juice, fruit, milk, chocolate soymilk, homemade ice-cream and any condiment you could think of to put on a bagel. I think he would have loved a banana shake made with homemade ice-cream. I served a few of those for brunch. Although he would have been wanting coffee and all I have in the house is decaffeinated and it hasn't been opened since I bought it a year and a half ago or in other words when we moved here.

A tour was given of the house. He would love it. I am sure he would be asking more questions but that is okay. There is always plenty to talk about and share with others when it comes to house renovations.

After a tour of the house everyone took their brunch to the back yard. Soaking up the warm sun and showing off the pizza oven. He would have loved the pizza oven. The pizzas from the oven are wonderful. The next time Nathan and I make pizzas we will make one cheese and one pepperoni and have extra pizza for him.

As everyone is eating I think about Papa's gravy. For those of you that aren't Italian gravy is the same as spaghetti sauce only with a lot more meat. He would always want to have gravy ready when we were coming home. Or if we were coming home during the winter season he and Nana would make chicken noodle soup. YUM!! Actually slight side track thought but Papa's gravy would probably be good to use for Pizza sauce.

At 12:49pm I get the text message followed by a call that Papa has passed. The rest of the afternoon is spent in a whirl of emotions. Which include everything from laughing to crying to being just angry.

Before going to bed that night I let Angel out to do her business. It is raining. It is so interesting how the weather changes so quickly here on the Central Coast of California. Anyway, I think that all the tears that everyone has shed over the last couple of days are finally falling back onto us.

7am on Sunday and there is a bird outside my window chirping. I wanted to tell it to be quiet but then thought that it was strange that the bird just happened to be so close to our bedroom window. The birds don't usually do that especially since the grape vines have not grown down that far on the fence. After the bird stopped chirping it had me thinking that was a sign from Papa. Papa always stated he could tell when we had been bad or good because the little birdy told him so.

It was a warm, cloudy day. I think mother nature is sad today. It didn't rain though. I totally can relate. This is how I feel.

At 11am Nathan and I head out to go shopping. Oh Papa doesn't like shopping. He would either sit in the car and wait or he would sit outside the store in the mall.

The sun has started peeking through the small patches of blue sky this afternoon. I think Mother Nature is not as sad.

Monday morning it is very gloomy outside and very windy. I think Mother Nature is mad today. Upset at the loss of a caring and fun loving man. Upset with cancer. Upset with how quickly his life here has gone by. I understand her here. I am glad that if she is going to be mad she is taking the anger out in this form and not in the form of a typhoon, that is what hurricanes are called on the Pacific Ocean. While I am at it I would like to Thank, Natural Disasters for being calm and silent. I don't think I could handle an earthquake right now.

The dark clouds make way to a partly cloudy sky in the afternoon.

I have been doing a lot of reminiscing today. Lots of great memories with Papa. My wedding day and being able to dance with him. His stories - another one he loves telling is that he taught Wayne Gretzky how to skate. His questions or thirst for knowledge - working on his family tree or watching WWI and WWII movies. His laughs - when I tell him about Angel or his love for watching MASH, The Simpsons, Two and a Half Men, etc. His love & kindness - he never said to Nathan and I, we couldn't stay at his and Nana's house and he would always get a little teary eyed when Nathan and I would leave after a visit. His love of the Christmas Holiday - specifically the food or Seven Fishes of The Sea. His lack of fear when it comes to technology - he loved doing research for his family tree and he was great at using e-mail. His unique form of quality one-on-one time - he loved to have his back or feet rubbed; especially in between the toes. Exercise - walking with us to the bakery in Roslindale Square or taking us to Bustoff's for chocolate. And so much more.

We are all hurting including mother nature. We know that these wounds will take time to heal. We know that he is no longer suffering and is enjoying all of his favorite foods. We all have our own special memories and none of those can be taken away from us even though he was. Rest now Papa! We Love You!

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