Sunday, March 06, 2011

My Beautiful Papa

Monday, February 28th, Papa went in for surgery. He was going to finally be able to have a stent put in so that he could eat. He was originally scheduled to have the surgery on Wednesday, February 23rd but he had a mini stroke or TIA on Tuesday, February 22nd. So instead of the surgery on Wednesday he had an MRI. The MRI didn't show anything that would be cause for an alarm. Papa will be awakened and monitored every 2 hours throughout the evening.

I didn't mention that the results of the biopsy came back and Papa has cancer of the esophagus, lung & liver. 3 months was Papa's prognosis.

The surgery went well and took about two hours. Papa will no longer need to be on a liquid diet. He can start off with softer foods and a soda. Yes, the carbonation in the soda will help break down the food and prevent any blockage on the mesh of the stent itself. He will no longer be able to lay flat, either for eating or sleeping.

On Wednesday, March 2nd, Nana asked that Papa be sent to Rehab in West Roxbury upon his release from the hospital which should be within the day or two.

On Thursday, March 3rd, Papa's kidneys were failing. His kidneys were functioning or operating at 10%. (Chaoticness commences.)

On Friday I called and talked to Papa. I had a very short conversation with him. I asked him how he was doing and he told me not so good. I asked him why and he responded but it was difficult to understand him. Not sure if it was because I was overwhelmed or because he was weak. I asked him if there was anything that I could do for him and he told me no. I then told him that I loved him. He told me that he loved me. I asked him again if he was sure there wasn't something that I could get him and he again told me no. I said I love you again and he said he loved me.

Christina (my younger cousin) took the phone and talked to me. She let me know that he had stated that his kidneys were failing. That was the part that I couldn't understand.

I feel so silly because any other time I call and talk to him, I can chat for a while. That moment, it was difficult for me.

Papa is septic or sepsis not too long after I talked to him. Because the liver isn't functioning the kidneys were working harder to make up for what the liver couldn't do. But now the kidneys can't keep up.

They weren't expecting Papa to make it through the night so my aunt and a close friend of the family stayed with him through the night. He had plenty of people visit him through the day and some people stayed as late as they could.

Saturday early in the morning Papa struggled for a little while. He was uncomfortable and was in some pain. On Friday night the drs. reinserted the IV for the morphine shot but it took the drs. three attempts because Papa's veins were collapsing. Between 4am and 6am EST Papa didn't talk anymore and closed his eyes. He was able to turn his head when people talked to him.

Around 12:50pm Pacific time I get the call that Papa took his last breath.

The rest of the day was difficult. A lot of off and on crying. It is hard thinking and knowing that when I go home now he won't be there. I will miss his laugh. All his coffee cups. The tons of questions about the house. His goofy stories and watching him take a nap in his chair.

I want him to know that the door to the house is always open for him to come and check it out. My heart is open to all the great memories. And I am happy that he is at peace. We will miss you but we know that you are still watching over us and that the little birdies are still going to tell you when we are bad. Love you!

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